Alumni stories: Don’t ignore your heart
A move to the Netherlands in 1974 proved decisive for Harry Barrowclough in countless ways, including a fulfilling career in gynaecological pathology, a PhD at the University of Amsterdam and true love.
“Choosing which direction I wanted to go in was a problem. I remember talking about my difficulties to a gynaecologist who suggested that hobbies could give an idea of what to consider; “for instance, if you like reading detective novels, perhaps general medicine is for you and DIY enthusiasts might consider orthopaedics.” He asked me what my hobby was. “Singing,” I replied. “I see your problem.” was all he could say! I still hadn’t decided when we got round to finals, and it was my clinical tutor who suggested GP.
In those days there was no formal training for those considering General Practice, but the tutor was a forward-thinking man who had put together a pre- and immediate post registration ‘course’ to prepare young doctors to enter General Practice.
That, however, wasn’t the end of my problems. In fact, it was just the start since as I made my way through general surgery, general medicine, orthopaedics, ENT, paediatrics and geriatrics, with a heavy dose of Obs and Gynae at the start of my second year of the ‘course’, I gradually realised that this was not the way I should be going.
In fact, I began to wonder if medicine itself was where I ought to be.
It was my mother who put me back on track, remarking how I had always been interested in pathology. That was back when I thought that pathology was all about test-tubes and Bunsen burners, but now I knew more about it and came to the realisation that she was right. Laboratory medicine was the way to go.
It was about this time that some contemporaries of mine started thinking about moving abroad. That seemed like a great idea, but the question was – where to? On a holiday to the Netherlands, I found myself immediately attracted to the country and it was soon after this that I fell in love.
In those days, being gay was by no means straightforward in our profession and I had had to be careful about revealing my sexuality.
My trip to the Netherlands gave me more confidence since sexual orientation there seemed to be much less of an issue. My heart was stolen (actually I gave it away gladly) by a Scottish computer engineer who was working in - you guessed: the Netherlands.
Suddenly all the pieces of my jigsaw puzzle began to fall into place. Working in laboratory medicine would allow me to function in English until I came to terms with Dutch and the Netherlands was close enough to the UK to get back if I had made a terrible mistake. But I hadn’t, and in 1974 I moved to Amsterdam where I had managed to arrange a job in the pathology department of the city University hospital. My idea had been to see if I felt enough at home to make my career there, but within a couple of months, I was sure.
My professor encouraged me to start official training as a pathologist and as my four years of training were coming to an end, my professor once again called me into his office and expressed his hope that I would continue as a registrar/lecturer. Since I have something of the ‘imposter syndrome’ I was glad of this opportunity to continue working in a protected environment, with plenty of expert back-up should I flounder.
In the meantime, I had developed a passion for gynaecological pathology and found myself being the local ‘expert’ in that field.
This brought me into contact with two young gynaecologists who were hoping to do their PhDs on endometrium carcinoma. It was a ready-made project for me, and I was happy to help, not least because it fulfilled the requirement of my job that I do research. All was going swimmingly until the gynaecologists left the academic world abandoning the project. Enter my professor again! He wanted to know what I was going to do with all the material I had collected. Could I not carve out a PhD project for myself? And so it was that I successfully completed my PhD thesis at the University of Amsterdam, which I had to defend it in public in Dutch, which was an interesting experience!
About that time a new university hospital was opened in Amsterdam and I was the only registrar available to become head of the pathology department there. At first it was a pleasant break from the formality of the central laboratory; I was my own boss and had the opportunity of joining the gynaecologists in their colposcopy clinic. I was able to meet the patients and get to understand their problems, see the lesions on the cervix before they were biopsied and design the best treatment approach which respected their reproductive hopes. It was a very fulfilling time. Alas, it didn’t last.
Gradually the number of departments, and the workload, moving across to the AMC (Academic Medical Centre) increased. The pathology contingent however didn’t and it was all down to me. And so it was that I was doing all the autopsies, the frozen sections (the days before needle biopsies), diagnostics and cytology, together with all the CPCs and of course the administrative meetings with hospital management. I asked for help from the central laboratory, but each time I was told that it was far too busy there to spare anybody. The result, needless to say, was a burn out.
I found a new job in the pathology department of a large general hospital in a town called Amersfoort where I worked until retirement at the age of 60.
Computerisation was beginning to take over and the specialty that I had always considered to be as much an art as a science, was changing and I began to feel less and less at ease. Jamie was beginning to deteriorate as a result of the immunosuppression after a heart transplant in 1988. Another reason that I was glad to leave my career – I now had the time to nurse him through the last two years of his life. He died more or less in my arms just after undergoing bilateral below knee amputation of his legs because of gangrene.
About a year and a half after he died, I drove two friends down to Antwerp to visit a friend who had just lost his partner of 20 odd years. Maybe it was a question of companions in adversity, but it clicked directly between us. Daniël is an art historian and through him my retirement developed a whole new dimension: art! I even returned to singing and am still a member of the choir at the English church in Utrecht. Through the church, I got involved with prison visiting, where the bedside skills I had acquired at Liverpool served me well. I can’t thank Liverpool School of Medicine enough for the life it has allowed me to enjoy!
I suppose the message I would give to young colleague is although you should never ignore your head, don’t ignore your heart either or you might miss some wonderful opportunities.”
Discover more
- Explore career options including Gynaecology in the medical specialty videos available through the Careers Support section of the student intranet (link).
- Interested in Gynaecology? Why not join SNOGS (Student Obstetrics and Gynaecology Society) on the Guild website (link).
- Are you one of our School alumni and have a story to share? Or do you know someone you would like us to spotlight? Drop us a line at mednews@liverpool.ac.uk.
- Get insights and advice from School Alumni as they reminisce on their days at Liverpool and the careers they went on to create on our Alumni Stories webpage (link).